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Wednesday, March 13th 2013

21:16

A Quick Note from the Wall

  • STATE OF EXISTENCE: In the Wall

Sunday night I hit the wall. Well, not really. I did not hit any walls in any literal sense, nor did I totally crash out. What really happened was that I realized how deeply I had crashed into the wall already. Or, to put it differently, I didn't have a nervous breakdown, but I realized how broken some of my nerves are at the moment. There are many reasons, I'm sure, but in the end the reality is that, ever-so-slowly, my PD is catching up with me more and more. So, earlier this week I went ahead and dropped some of the responsibilities I've tried to maintain. Everyone I talked to was nice and understanding. Just as in 2008 I had to face the reality that I could no longer maintain a full-time job, I just have to admit to myself that I can't go on in other respects as though there were no issues. It's not what I intended for this time of my life, but none of us get a choice, do we? Yes, I will get through this time period; the Lord is still right here alongside me. But for this moment, I need to work on detaching myself from the wall.

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